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Over the course of any single day, Gawker receives numerous press releases, many of them ridiculous and sad. This one may be the most ridiculous and sad we’ve ever seen. Poor John Ratzenberger.

Apparently some LA-based flack named Charmaine Blake, “the most famous publicist,” is on a date right now with Cliff Clavin from Cheers and couldn’t resist blasting out a poorly written press release under the table on her Blackberry.

Poor John Ratzenberger. He’s probably trying to put the pieces of his life back together after his ex-girlfriend was almost inspired by a country song to set his car on fire, and now he’s on a date with the craziest, drunkest, most publicity-hungry publicist in town. She also has a blog, which is always a sure sign of mental instability.

This is why LA sucks!

via Alex Blagg’s Tumblr

See original here

All she wanted to do was get her poor little puking pug dog out of her tote bag on the L train. But then the cops arrived. And they were mean.

Was arrested by police at L train today - ffor a 15lb pug that I took out of his tote bag for throwing up and overheating. Held for very long time - photos and video and about 12 cops involved. Pug okay,. but me, very sad,

Her pug dog threw up in its tote bag on the L train between First Avenue and Bedford Ave, then when she got off the train a cop came up to her and asked her for her ID and she didn’t have the ID and the cop cuffed her and pushed her against the wall and said “If you’re going to act like a woman I’m going to treat you like a woman,” and people were taking pictures and they arrested her and gave her three tickets and said they were going to have her puking pug dog put down but when she finally got to the police station the dog was just behind the desk and the cops were playing with it.

The state of her fellow subway riders is unknown.
[Free Williamsburg via Animal NY]

Go here to read the rest

It turns out Mark Sanford left some things out of his big long weepy affair confession, including three New York encounters with his mistress. It turns out he felt the need to break up with her twice! Imagine that.

The South Carolina governor had previously copped to five encounters, all in South America, with Argentine TV reporter Maria Belen Chapur. Now he tells the Associated Press — in a “lengthy and emotional” interview! — that he met with the woman three other times:

• Two nights in Manhattan in September 2008.
• Three nights in the Hamptons in November 2008.
• One night in New York in 2009 with a “trusted spiritual adviser,” to end the affair, which his wife found out about in January of that year.

Wait, didn’t Sanford say he went to Argentina earlier this month to end the affair? Yes, yes he did, even though the affair was supposed to be over after that trip to New York. So what was Argentina really about?

Something, perhaps, that would endanger his reconciliation efforts and marriage counseling with hero wife Jenny. Or maybe Sanford resumed seeing Chapur at some point in 2009 after his January confession to his wife, and had to break things off again, in person. This would explain why Jenny moved out only “several weeks ago” despite knowing of an affair since January.

Sanford’s initial public mea culpa was forced by an imminent story in the local newspaper, so it’s no wonder it was incomplete. One wonders what goods the press used to force the governor’s candor this time around.

(Pic: Sanford interview with the AP in his Columbia, SC office today. By AP.)

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Vibe Magazine—one of the biggest music magazines in America—is folding. The entire music magazine landscape is full of the dead and dying. [UPDATED below.]

Wikipedia sums up Vibe unexpectedly well:

The magazine owes its success to having a broader range of interests than its closest competitors The Source and XXL which focus more narrowly on rap music or the rock & pop-centric Rolling Stone and Spin. It also differs from the more staid Essence, Ebony or Jet publications by attracting younger readers of many ethnicities.

It was essentially the black version of Rolling Stone, and its readership grew broader as hip hop became pop music. (Kind of fitting that their last issue had Eminem on the cover). But Vibe hasn’t been doing well for a while now; in February, the magazine cut its circulation and frequency, and salaries. Now the music industry is crumbling, and the magazine industry is crumbling, and the music magazine industry is really crumbling.

The recent dead include Radio and Records, Performing Songwriter, and Blender. Vibe probably had the most demographically diverse readership of any major music magazine. Now, the hip hop magazine world is ruled by the shaky Source and XXL, with strong online competition; the trade music sector is still topped by Billboard, incredibly shaky as well; the pop music mag sector is ruled by Rolling Stone, which is a shell of its former self; and Spin, Fader, Paste, and everyone else are just trying to protect their own audiences from the free, and many times much better, online intruders. Hard times.
[Jeff Bercovici at Daily Finance with the scoop.]

UPDATE: We’re waiting to hear back from Vibe ourselves, but their latest Twitter message pretty much confirms the worst.

UPDATE 2: Here are the statements from Vibe’s editor, and a staff memo from the CEO. From editor Danyel Smith:

On behalf the VIBE CONTENT staff (the best in this business), it is with great sadness, and with heads held high, that we leave the building today. We were assigning and editing a Michael Jackson tribute issue when we got the news. It’s a tragic week in overall, but as the doors of VIBE Media Group close, on the eve of the magazine’s sixteenth anniversary, it’s a sad day for music, for hip hop in particular, and for the millions of readers and users who have loved and who continue to love the VIBE brand. We thank you, we have served you with joy, pride and excellence, and we will miss you.

Danyel Smith
the former Chief Content Officer VIBE Media Group
& Editor in Chief, VIBE

Staff memo from Vibe Media CEO Steve Aaron:

Dear VIBE Team:

It is with a heavy heart that I share some tough news, VMG is closing down effective today, June 30th.

It’s been an 16 incredible years since VIBE’s inception. There are very few magazines with the richness of history and breadth of talented visionaries who created the powerful lens in which VIBE viewed and shaped urban music and culture.

Ever since I first set foot in this courageous company, I’ve regarded myself as incredibly fortunate to be be involved with this remarkable brand and group of individuals whose performance has never been nothing short of outstanding. We finished 2008 in an improved position versus the prior year, and accomplished so much, including:

* Editorial Awards
* Editorial transformation into content dept
* New Ad accounts being broken
* The Most Mag Launch
* Award winning re-design
* Profitable digital operation
* VIBE.com growth and improvements and programs such as Best Rapper Ever, #1 Stan, etc
* Mobile VIBE launch
* Micro-site development Mostmag.com to start off.
* V Sessions
* Improved PR coverage

Unfortunately, over the last several months, a confluence of events has obviously posed VMG to exceedingly serious challenges.

* The collapse of the capital markets has impacted us greatly. Over the past several months, we have actively pursued investment resources while working intensively with our bank to find a solution. But the deal market right now remains very poor and at the end of the day, the lack of investment resources to restructure the huge debt on our small company has made this outcome become a reality.
* The print advertising collapse hit VIBE hard, especially as key ad categories like automotive and fashion, which represented the bulk of our top 10 advertisers, have stopped advertising or gone out of business. It’s also unfortunate that in a recession many companies reduce the multi-cultural campaigns. These facts, coupled with the continuing decline of the music industry not to mention the newsstand wholesaler consolidation in early 2009 all negatively impacted our business in a significant way.
* The relentless economic situation has depressed our growth initiatives on the digital front. To be clear, VMG has made significant improvement in this part of our business, but not at the accelerated pace required to offset the devastating effects of the most severe recession in our lifetime and the accompanying print losses.

I want to thank you all for your hard work and commitment, and for all of the adventures along the way. I’ll miss this place a lot, but I’ll miss you all and the magic you create.

Vibe will be remembered as a shockingly brilliant content company that everyone can be proud of and I look forward with great excitement to all of future endeavors you all pursue.

With great affection and respect –

Steve Aaron

former CEO of VIBE Media Group

Original post

Last night on Fox News, Geraldo Rivera took a hit out on David Earls, a convicted child-rapist whose atrociously low sentence Bill O’Reilly has been demagoguing.

Earls is a bad man. He raped a little girl and got a ridiculous one-year sentence. But it’s still astonishing that last night two grown men openly discussed on national television whether or not it’s OK to just up and kill him.

O’Reilly, cognizant of the criticism he received for his role in turning George Tiller into a national villain who was then gunned down by an abortion opponent, managed to struggle through the moral logic of Thou Shalt Not Kill. But Rivera, with a wink and a nod, basically said “Yes.” The only reservation he has about someone taking his advice to go out and kill Earls is that they might get hurt themselves.

Here’s the gist of the exchange:

O’Reilly: If Earls ever walks out of jail and gets killed, who are they going to blame?

Rivera: … I can only tell you ladies and gentlemen, that I will not weep if something happens to David Earls. I do not encourage vigilantism. I think it is something that puts your own life at risk. I do not advise it, I do not counsel it. I will not, however, weep if David Earls is found sometime on a country road.

O’Reilly: We obviously don’t want anyone to do anything. That would be as morally wrong as what Earls did—to take Earls’ life. You can’t do that.

Rivera: I don’t agree quite with your moral reasoning. You’re more moral than I am.

These men actually want people to die.

Read the original here

Bernie Madoff’s been sentenced to die in prison. Now, all those victimized by him have found peace. Just kidding! They’re all in anguish. Seriously, we’re worried about them. The victims are dealing with their rage in three distinct ways:

1. Trying—and failing—to forgive.

Julie Behar lost $2.6 million; her children lost their trust fund; her mom lost millions as well. But now she’s started saving again, concentrating on her children’s futures, and hoping for the best. She knows that holding anger in her heart is no way to live. How about it, Julie—do you think you can forgive this man? “I’M NOT accepting Bernard Madoff’s apology.” Ah. I see. Okay.

2. Trying—and failing—to move on.

Let’s just focus on what we need to do now, okay? The past is the past. There are so many things to do now. Phyllis Molchatsky lost $2 million and may lose her house, but she’s moving on by…losing her faith in the government, the SEC, the American Way, and god. “I think part of me died that day I learned of the fraud, along with so many hopes and dreams for the future.” Oh. Well. That’s depressing as fuck.

3. RAGE!

This rage is Biblical:

“I told the judge that when Bernard Madoff leaves prison, which means after his death, that he will then go down to the depths of hell where he’ll join those other people who are in the mouths of Satan,” Burt Ross, the former mayor of Fort Lee, N.J., who lost $5 million with Mr. Madoff, told the crowded press corps outside the courthouse.

You people will die of stress before Madoff does.
[Read em all! And weep.]

Here is the original

Apple won’t say whether Steve Jobs was at the office today as part of his official return to the company. But a Valleywag spy spotted the CEO on his company’s Cupertino campus. Jobs apparently left early:

I had lunch with a friend at Apple today and as I was leaving the campus I saw Jobs getting into a chauffeured black Lincoln Continental. This was right outside 1IL [Infinity Loop] at about two PM today.

A Lincoln is, of course, not Jobs’ usual ride, and the notorious micromanager usually likes to be behind the driver’s wheel; his Mercedes is known for turning up in Apple’s handicapped parking spots. But Jobs just underwent a liver transplant and is only traveling to the Apple campus a “few days” per week, according to an Apple statement heralding his return to the company today. Presumably, the CEO’s health is such that he needs to conserve his energy for activities other than driving, like running a company.

Earlier today, Apple declined to tell Bloomberg News whether Jobs was on campus. The company had good reason to avoid such a discussion: Entertaining that line of questioning might have led to a discussion of Jobs’ itinerary and unwelcome question about why the CEO had to leave early, and about his health. More practically, it also would open the company up to endless questions from reporters about where Jobs is on campus that day. Of course, there’s a good chance Apple is going to be getting those queries anyway, whether it answers them or not.

Anyone else spot the newly-returned honcho today? We’d love to hear from you.

UPDATE: Last week, Reuters spotted Jobs leaving the campus in a “black car.”

UPDATE 2: The original version of that Reuters story last week had Jobs being “driven off by men in black suits with ear-pieces.”

(Pic: Jobs at a MacBook press announcement on Apple’s Cupertino campus in October via Getty)

See the original post here

Oh, Joe Jackson. Deceased Michael’s monster of a father held a press conference today with Al Sharpton in which he managed to lovingly honor his tragically-fated son promote his “record company” and just appear all around looney-tunes.

Obviously the Michael Jackson story is big news, and the man’s father has a right to say what he wants about his dead son, but the twinkly gleam in his eye as he revels in the press attention just chills our blood a little bit, the record company plug being the cherry on top.

Sad that even in death, MJ still isn’t free of his scary father.

Earlier: Watch Joe Jackson Stoically Use His Son’s Death to Plug a DVD

Read the rest here

Lost in the glee over Bernie Madoff’s prison sentence is this: What will become of poor Ruth Madoff? She’s stalked by paparazzi; rejected by landlords; and left with a mere $2.5 million. Here, Dear Ruth, is your road to redemption.

• Wise Money Management: Your settlement with the Justice Department left you with only $2.5 million to live on—a mighty blow for a 68 year-old woman with little earning power left. Have no fear! With a little skill, you should be able to survive your remaining days without going hungry. Even at a modest 4% rate of return, this principal invested wisely would earn you $100,000 per year. You’ll find that a human being can survive on this modest stipend. You’re being forced to sell your posh penthouse; that’s actually good! Check out Craigslist for cheaper rentals. You can find a roommate there, too. Your hair salon doesn’t want your business any more, which will help you save on grooming costs. Try Head & Shoulders. Above all, be sure to invest your money under a different name. Lest something “happen” to it.
• Resurrecting Your Reputation: You should just forget this one. There’s no point stressing yourself about it. You’ll be despised by a large portion of the public for years. But you can slowly develop enough distance from the fraud to, at least, allow yourself to walk the streets without immediate fear of maiming.
  You haven’t started off on the right foot, though. Your post-sentencing statement about being “betrayed and confused” by Bernie’s fraud: come on. Betrayed and confused by math, maybe! Didn’t you work at his firm? Ha. This tactic will probably fail. Better to downplay the part about you not having any idea what was going on, and play up the meager restitution to the fraud’s victims that you plan to make your life’s work! You won’t be able to make a speck of a dent in the total amount owed, of course. But by making it clear that you will pay back the token amount that you can, it will also make it easier for you to…
• Get a Job: A real job, lady. MTA conductor. Shoe salesperson. Wal-Mart greeter. Well, maybe not a job that necessitates direct contact with the public; could be dangerous. But a job, nonetheless, where you can be photographed—preferably dirty, and sweating—to show the world that you are paying some penance for this colossal crime. You only have to work a few days a week. Then you tithe a percentage of your earning into a fund for victims. A large percentage. 100%, for example! And really, what else do you have to do with your time? It’s a winning idea all around. You could even sell paintings, like some serial killers do. Kitsch appeal and all that.
• Move: Don’t just move out of your luxury apartment. Don’t just move out Manhattan. Don’t just move out of New York. Don’t just move out of America. Move out of the Western world. Move somewhere like Botswana, or Nepal, or Suriname, where the Madoff scam is not likely to be a topic of discussion for a long period of time. For at least a decade. Get forgotten. Get a haircut. By the time you come back to America (isolated Western or Southern states only) your face won’t be branded into the memories of millions of haters quite so distinctly. And then, finally, you can…
• Do Something Good: Habitat for Humanity. Look what it did for Jimmy Carter. Or feeding the homeless in a soup kitchen, while wearing a hairnet. Great photo-op. Do this for the remainder of your years. And do it well. And when you die, give the rest of your money to the victims of the fraud. And maybe, just maybe, your soul will have a chance.

[But who are we to judge? Pic: AP]

More here

So who watched Hung last night? HBO’s latest installment in its string of series depicting lives lived on the fringes of America is about a well-endowed gym teacher who becomes a gigolo to earn some extra cash. It was… good?

Video clip probably NSFW, BTW!

It’s so hard to tell about the general quality of the show, glamored as we were by director Alexander Payne’s reliably gentle/tough hand and the nimble work of Jane Adams, as Thomas Jane’s pimp, who is one of Hollywood’s most criminally underused actors. She gave a fine, nuanced, weird performance last night—spanning from sexual ecstasy to untethered artist sadness to hard-minded pragmatist with natural ease. And Payne’s details—his close-ups, his visual aesthetic that’s both warm and chilly—provided such a lovely backdrop for this kind of pleasingly lived-in acting.

But Thomas Jane? Hm. He’s always been such a conundrum. He was maybe going to break out and be big after The Sweetest Thing and The Punisher and then it just fizzled into nowhere. And he’s got that curious face, that bashed-up maybe-handsome, maybe-too-unfocused set of features that can be manly and attractive one minute, and then sort of sad and grizzled the next. It works mostly to his favor, we think, in the role of Ray Drecker, a washed-up high school coach who, in his youth, had a string of opportunities that never panned out (hey… sounds familiar!). Anne Heche ably plays his angry, moved-on wife in a part that could either stay shrill or round out to something unlikable, sure, but undeniably compelling in its true-to-life humanity (see: Nikki Grant on Big Love).

So we like it OK. But we’re definitely not in love. We’re trying to remember the last time a TV pilot grabbed us and demanded further viewing. Didn’t happen for True Blood or, hell, even Big Love. What about over on Showtime? We’re sorta liking Nurse Jackie, but it’s really only for the same reason as Hung: a wonderful performance by a lead actress amid a sea of other, murkier things. In the case of Nurse Jackie: What the hell were they thinking casting that guy as Jackie’s husband? He’s like twenty years younger and belongs in some indie about softly strumming guitars in a sparsely-furnished New York apartment, not playing the borough-dwelling owner of a local dive bar. Also, Anna Deavere Smith is sort of embarrassing herself with jokey-joke cameos as a stern hospital administrator. And while Eve Best is a terrific actress, we’re not sure that her hyperbolic character—bitchy blase rich Englishwoman doctor with a boatload of Blahniks but no love for children—belongs alongside Falco’s more dependably “real” Jackie.

Both of these shows have promise, and we’ll stick with them, but we’re disappointed that we’re not more excited. Not everything can be The Sopranos or Mad Men where we’re hooked like suckers from the very beginning, but watching a show out of duty or some pretentious high-minded ideal that this is Good Television starts to feel like work after a while.

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